Sunshine, Showers and Rainbows

  

I haven’t posted anything on the blog for a while … It has not been a conscious decision but something that just happened.  I’m ok with this – when I started writing it was for myself and I did it because it helped me to make some sense of what was going on in my life at this time. It definitely helped, I found writing therapeutic, I would write when and if  I wanted to and did so for myself.  Something I never expected when I began was the support and comments I received  from the blogging world. Did I think people would read my blog? yes – possibly a small number, but the comments and messages I received blew me away. The power of the Internet and social media is amazing. 

Not only did it open a door to link me to others who had experienced PND like myself but suddenly I was part of a whole world of peer support linking my story to hundreds of others – new parents, old parents, parents to be, people who were currently or had previously battled mental illness.  The comments and messages came in and it drove me on immensely on my path to recovery.  That being said I felt it was important to post a little update on where this has taken me. I continued to get better day by day, step by step. Some days were good, others ok, some very hard but others were exceptional. The good days became more and more often and suddenly it would seem I couldn’t remember the last difficult day (sure difficult moments – but not a whole day)And so now I continue this way forward (sometimes taking a step sideways or hitting a bump in the road) but definitely  travelling in the right direction. 

Life has been busy – life has been fun again and even though I think that  deep down the deep routed fear of relapse is still there  – I feel well, I feel happy and I feel so utterly grateful for all those who I am blessed to share my life  with. If I do relapse I feel stronger and I know I have the tools and access to the support to help me get better – I have done it once and I can do it again. 
So there it is – the post that at one point thought I would never write, a place I wasn’t sure I could reach.  The darkness was deep and scary but as it cleared I feel stronger than before and I see things clearer. I appreciate life and all those people in it who I love dearly. 

Thank you to all of you for sharing this journey, supporting me and giving me the determination to keep working and moving forward. 

It is true what is said that After the storm there was a rainbow